Restlessness

I’m feeling restless again.

This time of year always seems to have that effect on me…it’s so close to spring you can almost taste the warm, sunny days and the fresh scent of new growth all around. Except it’s not quite here yet, so instead I’m going crazy with anticipation. It gives me too much time to think.

For instance, I think sometimes that I’m missing out by not having kids right now. As I put together a list of goals for 2010 in the past few weeks, I keep coming back to this one thing…that I want to have a serious impact on the lives of a handful of children. And the easiest way to do that, would be to have them under my 24 hour care, right?

Even if I weren’t to HAVE a couple of my own, I would love to adopt. And not just adopt any kid from anywhere. I want a little boy or girl from India. I don’t know why. Can’t explain it. Except maybe that my heroine, since I was 8 years old and first read her biography, has been Amy Carmichael. She’s been on my mind so much lately, that I decided to re-read her biography…and I’m still just as inspired as I was 15 years ago.

And then I think, if I can’t have my own children (what can I say? It’s not easy to adopt as a single and it’s rather frowned upon to purposely get pregnant out of wedlock these days)…then I want to impact other people’s children.

Like Sunday school. But I don’t want to just be a helper in someone else’s Sunday school. I want to coordinate, design a curriculum and teach it myself. Create a love for Bible stories, memorization and God in young lives.

Or lead an AWANA club group.

Or have young girls over to my house to do merit-badge earning activities that develop life skills AND spiritual skills all at the same time.

Or lead a Bible study in my house.

Or tutor junior high and high school age students in a home school environment (I don’t wanna help them pass someone else’s idea of education…I want to give them my version of history, science, creative writing, art and music…trust me. It would be more effective than learning just enough to pass the tests in a classroom).

It’s just weird how phases of life go.